lol

Or: Why Online Dating Makes Me Lose Faith In Humanity

So, I have an online dating profile. It's certainly a work in progress, and what I have chosen to say about myself is both a whole lot, and a whole lot of nothing. This is besides the point.

I call out, very specifically, that I get fussed when "lol" is used like punctuation. This apparently is not a deterrent. I pretty ruthlessly delete any offending messages, but it's fair to say that an alarming number of people are unable to wring out more than two sentences before they are lol-ing all over the place. And in very regular exchanges as well. It's disappointing.

I mentioned this to a friend recently and he thought that I was being somewhat silly. His opinion was that in this arena online people are "flirting" and "nervous." He is more than entitled to his point of view but I refuse to accept this as, ONLINE, you have the time think through your words before committing them, and actually have the potential to come off as somewhat more intelligent and collected than you may be in real life. This is not a first date situation where you could easily find yourself giggling like a ninny at nothing in particular just so that you appear to be engaged and enjoying your time.

I think, my main issue with the "lol" and to a lesser extent the "hahaha" is that it makes the sender seem like a raving maniac.

Sample messages:
"Hey! What did you do today? I just got off work, gonna do it all again tomorrow. HAHAHA"
"Your profile is cool. We should get together sometime and play Cards Against Humanity. LOL"

In neither of the two example above was the hahaha/lol even a little bit normal. Also - these are terrible messages to send, as there is no real jumping off point for an actual conversation. These types of messages get deleted.

Other messages that get deleted:

• Anything that has a semi-naked photo for the profile
• Any profile that details how "You better not hurt me because I've been burned in the past."
• Any profile that is just more moan-y and groan-y than interesting - though I suppose that this is excellent insight into that person's personality overall and the AVOID is probably the best course of action.
• People in poly-amorous relationships. I am not a sister-wife recruit.

To be clear - I am not opposed to the use of "hahaha" or "lol" if it is warranted. But, when I receive an "lol" or a "hahaha" from someone (on the internet or in text messages) I want it to be earned, and valuable. I've won a few of these over the years and even handed out a few of my own. But it's pretty rare. So, if you are texting or chatting with me, and you get one, rest assured, I am truly laughing out loud. Congratulations!