It's been a shit week, and I've been a bit of a shit myself.
I've been feeling like there is a fault deep inside of me, fractures that are begging to be patched up before they become irreparable. But in truth, it's all just the panic of a moment that I am getting swept up by.
And so, I make poor choices, I put things out into the world that can't ever ever be taken back, and I forget. I have to own the not knowing, and just hope that any imagining that I may do is so much less terrible that the reality.
I need space. I need to surround myself and engage with those who want the best for me. I need to make sure that my interactions are not with emotional vampires because that is a behavior I reflect back on those that I care for, and... I don't want that. I don't want to be that asshole. I don't want to cause hurt or trouble in any way. However, in moving towards a better me, these things may happen. I can't make everyone happy all the time and at the end of the day what I really need to do is make sure that I am taking care of myself.
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